Tuesday, April 12, 2011

WAG Wannabe

With her beauty business in the doldrums, she has more time on her hands these days and for anyone nearby with fake hair that can only spell disaster. As the seasons change and the sorrows of winter become the joys of spring, the thoughts of our WAG wannabe turn from learning how to say 'labioplasty' and return to her favourite subject - how to become more tanned.... with whiter teeth .... and bigger ....
We may scoff, but her sin isn't the act itself, it's in her lack of imagination. For all the time she devotes to her appearance, her true fashion crime is that somehow she always manages to look as fake as the rented mansion in a shoot for Hello magazine. Whatever the fashion question, there is only ever one answer - a funeral in November? A Communion in March? The loss of a gel nail while scratching at the eyes of a love rival in Krystal? The answer is always to slap on more orange.
Sins include: Fake tan, fake nails, fake hair extensions, fake eye lashes, fake designer clothes and accessories, loving the colour pink and white jeans.

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